Humorous Wedding Roast of the Groom :: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches

Humorous Wedding Speech about the Groom Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Before starting the one speech that I know you’ve all been waiting for, I’d like to thank both Steve and Marcus – my two support acts. And I’d also like to thank Marcus in particular, for hosting what so far has been an absolutely fantastic wedding. It can’t have been easy watching your only daughter marry someone like Steve. In fact, I can only imagine what it might have been like - perhaps a similar feeling to realizing that you’ve just trodden in some fresh dog mess, only 100 times worse? But Marcus, if I may call you that, you’ve conducted yourself with great dignity and composure today, and I think we should all take inspiration from you – particularly when we next have a mishap on the pavement. And talking of mishaps on pavements, it was 17 years ago this very year that I trod on Steve – sorry, I mean that I met Steve - one September morning, both of us walking to our first day at St Joseph’s Secondary. And I feel the things I’ve witnessed over the last 17 years give me a certain authority today to remind Marcus, and to tell those of you who don’t know Steve, quite what Aimee’s got herself into. Now, I can see Steve beginning to look uncomfortable and, behind that sweet smile, Aimee is clearly furious. And it’s fair enough, because they did make it very plain to me that today was a family occasion. But it’s also tough, because this is too good an opportunity to miss. That said, they shouldn’t really worry because Steve’s never been much of a rebel. In fact, at school he was quite a goody-two-shoe – if you ignored the fact that through the fourth and fifth year he used his changing room locker to run a profitable lending library of pornographic magazines. Let me tell you, when word got round that the Porn Prince had some new stock in, there would be a queue half way round the block. Or so I heard. But he did ask me not to go into that today, because it’s something he’s never told Aimee, so I won’t. And in fairness to Steve, he was actually a keen student who always wanted to put forward his opinions – and he would have done well if the examination board had only agreed with just a few more of them.

Industrial attachment report Essay

CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION Students Industrial work experience scheme (SIWES) was established by ITF (Industrial Training Fund) in 1973 to solve the problem of lack of adequate practical skills required for employment in industries by Nigerian graduates of tertiary institutions. SIWES is an exercise created for students of higher education to enable them practice those things they have learnt theoretically in class. It also helps to expose students to the use of certain industrial equipment. The exercise reveals students skills as well as inspiring students’ ambition to become useful citizens in the future. It also helps them to interact with the highly respected and educated personalities. These students are willing and eager to prepare themselves to attain certain higher positions after graduation. This is a report of the SIWES experience I had at the national root crops research institute, Umudike, abia state. CHAPTER 2 COMPANY DESCRIPTION The National root crops research institute (NRCRI), Umudike is one of the 17 Agricultural research institutes in Nigeria. The institute started as a provincial experimental farm under the national department of agriculture with headquarters at Moor plantation. It assumed a federal status to become Federal Agricultural Research and Training Station (FARTS) in April 1, 1972. By April 1, 1976 it became known as national root crops research institute by the Agricultural research institutes decree of 1973. In line with its national and zonal mandate, the institute has the responsibility of conducting research into: Genetic improvement of root & tuber crops of economic importance in Nigeria Agronomy of root and tuber crop production including farming systems development for the southeast agro ecology Design and fabrication of simple agricultural farm tools and equipment Storage, processing, utilization of root & tuber crop production. NRCRI has taken giant strides with commendable results. These have earned the institute one of the best research institutes in Nigeria having contributed immensely to the economic development. The research findings of the institute have made Nigeria to become the world’s leading producer of cassava and yam with annual production of 33.1 and 19 million metric tons. The track record has also placed the institute in the top position for two years consecutively in the annual world food day. ACHIEVEMENTS: Effective control of major pests and diseases in cassava, yam, irish potato & sweet potato Development of sweet potato starch & media for biological uses Development of true potato seed for irish potato production Development of cassava, yam, sweet potato & cocoyam flour for baking, odorless fufu, cocoyam chips as snacks. Development of low cyanide cassava varieties for the savanna agro ecological zones CHAPTER 3 JOBS DONE/EXPERIENCE GAINED INTRODUCTION TO THE WORKSHOP: On arrival to the workshop, the first thing I was introduced to was the safety rules of the workshop which included the use of personal protective equipment (PPE) at all times. After this, I was given a full orientation to the workshop staff and tools. MODIFICATION OF A GINGER CUTTING & WASHING MACHINE: When I arrived at the workshop, the ongoing project was the modification of a ginger cutting machine and a ginger washing machine. A ginger washing machine is a machine used for washing freshly harvested ginger from dirt while a ginger cutting machine is a device used for cutting freshly harvested matured ginger into two equal parts. For this the following jobs were needed. USE OF HAND CUTTING/HAND GRINDING: The hand grinding machine which is also called an angle grinder is one of the very useful tools in the workshop. It is used for cutting, grinding and polishing. They can be powered by an electric motor, petrol engine or compressed air. In the workshop, the angle grinder was powered by an electric motor. The motor drives the geared head at a right angle on which is mounted an abrasive disk (used for grinding) or a thinner cut-off disc (used for cutting). It was used for cutting into metal sheets to a specified measurement, removing excess material and smoothing rough edges off the material. PRECAUTIONS: -In the workshop, we were required to replace worn discs because the continuous use of already worn discs could cause parts or the whole disc to fly out thereby causing serious damage to body or machine. -The cutting disc should never be used in place of the grinding disc and vice versa -Never stay in an enclosed place and always use the right posture when cutting/grinding. A HAND CUTTING/GRINDING MACHINE USE OF THE HAND DRILLING MACHINE: A drill is a tool fitted with a cutting tool attachment or driving tool attachment usually a drill bit or driver bit which is used for drilling holes in various materials. The drill bit is gripped by a chuck at one end and rotated while pressed against the material. A centre punch is usually used to indicate the spot where the drill is about to perforate so as to prevent the drill bit from slipping of the mark. PRECAUTIONS -Apply just the right amount of pressure to the drill during use as too much can end up breaking the drill bit and too little would not do anything. USE OF JOINING PROCESSES: During the work on the ginger cutting and ginger washing machine, metals also needed to be joined together. We used processes such as welding, riveting and also bolts & nuts. PRECAUTIONS -When welding, make sure the eyes are protected by a facemask -When riveting ensure staying on a flat surface. MEASUREMENT & MARKING: Before any work is carried out, it has to be put into measurements so as to avoid waste. Some of the instruments used were the vernier calipers, steel rule, measuring tape. THE USE OF THE RADIAL DRILLING MACHINE: A radial drilling machine is a large gear headed drill press in which the head moves along the arm that radiates from the column of the machine. The arm of the machine can swing in relation to the base of the machine. This swing operation helps the drill head to move out of the way so a large crane can place the heavy work piece on the base of the radial drilling machine. This also helps in drilling holes at different locations of the workpiece without actually moving the workpiece. Common features of the radial drilling machine are the power feed of the spindle and the coolant system. We also discussed problems when looking for solutions and also acquainted ourselves with the relationship between pulleys and the speed of a crankshaft. At the end of all these, the ginger cutting machine and ginger washing machine were tested and modified where necessary with good results. CHAPTER 4 RELATION OF EXPERIENCE TO FIELD OF STUDY The relevance of my experience to my field of study is the fact that most of the problems and tools encountered in the workshop were those which have been solved theoretically in class and hence a better understanding of the course was achieved. The relevance of this industrial training to Mechanical Engineering is the fact that it helps students to be more compatible with what they have been taught. Mechanical Engineering is more understood when combined with practice. The Industrial training helps to achieve this part. It makes the students not only knowledgeable but also quick with their hands and minds. This, at the end of all these, will result in better trained members of the mechanical engineering society. Mechanical Engineering, in fact, is a practical course. Considering the situation of our country with respect to education, I would say that without SIWES, graduates of mechanical engineering would really be lacking when it comes to practicing the course in the real world. CHAPTER 5 CONCLUSION/RECOMMENDATION All in all, the experience was a very wonderful one. I developed a good working relationship with the staff and my supervisor as I had learned from my 200 level industrial training and I also had a wonderful time putting what is learned in the classrooms into practice. Safety is a very important issue in any environment but it can never be over emphasized in a workshop.

Generational Changes Of Body Image - 1999 Words

Kelly Doran Mrs Rambo INQ 110 FF 8 December 2016 Generational Changes of Body Image Each generation as a whole views today’s society differently. Ideal body types have drastically changed throughout the years, each representing their time’s body trends. People looked up to celebrities that illustrated their time’s perfect body. Body trends today are also widely different than trends of the past. Trends are also hyped up on social media platforms, and increase the number of people with bad body image. Body dissatisfaction can come from the rapid growth of social media. Usage of photoshop has also altered some to think that an unattainable body is what one should look like. Plastic and cosmetic surgery has also increased over the past few decades. Millennials are more inclined to get unnecessary surgeries done because they have been brought up thinking it is normal. The combination with body shaming and body dissatisfaction has pushed many to eating disorders. These disorders can even bring out more dangerous consequences that range from minimal t o life threatening. Today’s body standards have drastically changed from past generations due to social media, falsified advertising, and the constant desire for impossible body goals. Society’s ideal body type has drastically changed throughout the generations. During the Silent Generation, one would expect a body type to be more rotund and full. This mimicking the â€Å"Gibson Girl† bodies, which was the epitome look for females toShow MoreRelatedSocial Sustainability : The Four Pillars Of Sustainability1273 Words   |  6 PagesSocial sustainability is one of the four pillars of sustainability. It is the least clearly defined as it changes with time, the economy, the environment and political situations. With so many factors that affect it, it is as important as the other three pillars (environmental, economic and political) and should therefore be given the same treatment and attention. 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